Christmas Cookies
by Amaryne
Summary: Linda, in a bet with another Wammy member, attempts to make all three Wammy boys enjoy a cookie. And admit it. Friendship fic, no pairings. Some implications. Oneshot.


"Oh my God! These are so good," Danielle gushed as she munched on my cookies in an unladylike way. "It's pure ecstasy. You're good at drawing and all – but these _cookies_, Linda. These _cookies_. You should become a freakin' baker and I'd blow a million dollars coming to your bakery."

I laughed uneasily, unsure how to reply. "That's – that's great. But I'm going to stick to the artist career. I can still bake cookies, though!" I quickly added when Danielle's face fell.

I looked down at the bowl of my Christmas cookies, smiling. So far, everyone had liked them. A lot. Which was good.

"Hey, can I have another one?" Danielle asked, hand already reaching to the bowl.

"Um, I kind of wanted for everyone to try one," I said, lightly pushing away Danielle's hand. Couldn't she see how many were left? Okay, there were twenty or so, but there were about a bajillion kids in Wammy's! Alright, maybe not that much, but somewhere near that.

Danielle snickered. "Did you make one for everyone? Even Matt? Well, I guess Matt mightn't be too hard, but come on. Mello? Near?"

"I didn't _say _I made one for them," I huffed defensively, even though my lie was weak, pointless and very, very obvious.

Danielle giggled. "Okay. Sure. But I really doubt you'll get anyone of them to eat and _enjoy _your cookies."

I frowned. "Why not?"

"Because," the girl explained, holding up a finger. "Matt is always around Mello, and probably won't eat them if Mello told him not to, _Mello _is explosive and will glare at you into oblivion if you so much talk to him and Near...well, I don't even know if Near _eats_."

"That's silly," I said, clutching the bowl tighter. "They're more mature than that."

They were, weren't they? I mean, we're all growing into...

...sensible, wise teenagers.

Somehow, that phrase didn't work.

"Really, Linda?" Danielle shook her head, grinning. "I _bet _that, even someone who has the ability to produce drops of heaven like these, can't convince all of them to eat said drops of heaven, and get them to admit that they _like _it. Or at least, give some sign."

Okay, she had a point.

That didn't mean she was right!

"I can do that," I said easily. "I mean, we're all growing up now. Sort of. But I _bet _that we're all grown up enough to enjoy a nice cookie."

"Wait. So you're doing it?" When I nodded, Danielle's grin widened. "_Okay _then. Your funeral. But just in case that in the crazy chance it works -" she shrugged "- I'll do your homework for a year. Yeah, I'm _that _confident that it won't work."

I smiled. "Get ready to do a lot of homework," I said breezily, walking out of the room determinedly.

* * *

Day 1

**Target 1:** Mello.  
**Explanation:** Mello is the most difficult. I need to get him over and done with!

**Plan:** offer him a cookie. Wait for response. Hope that he takes another one.  
**Materials: **bowl of cookies (duh) and tape recorder to certify that yes, Mello _did _say he liked it. And pepper spray. Just in case.

**Safety Precautions: **stay a reasonable distance away from Mello so that he doesn't scratch my eyes out.

It didn't take me too long to find Matt and Mello. I just went in their dormitory, though it did take a while for me to find out where it was. I mean, it gets annoying when you politely ask and the boys, being boys, waggle their eyebrows at you and go, "_Why?_" while the girls roll their eyes and tell you that you have no chance with them. That was seriously not my intention. Really.

I knocked on their door, my bowl of "drops of heaven" in my arm (the other arm was in my pocket, ready to tape record and go!). Instead of someone opening the door immediately, I heard a groan, then a "For God's sake Matt, get off your lazy ass and see who the hell it is" before someone actually answered.

"Oh. Uh --" Matt scratched his head. "You're..."

"Linda." I wanted to twist his head off for forgetting my name (especially since I got him a Mario game for his birthday) but I needed to remain _calm_. "Hi. I'm just...uh...well..."

He looked at me expectantly.

"Cookies!" I burst out.

That was not how I wanted to go out at _all_. You see, I wanted to go like, "Hi, I'm Linda, here are some delightful cookies for you and your mates to try. They'll make you go all tingly inside! But not in _that _way, of course, it's not like it's some libido stimulator or anything -"

Great. I can't even get my fantasy script right.

"I mean, I made some Christmas cookies for everyone to try. Just to see if it was good. If you like it, I'll make lots and everything."

"Oh, uh --"

"Who's at the door?" Mello yelled.

"It's..." he frowned. "Wait. What was your name again?"

I just _told _him it.

Lazy, amnesiac bastard.

"Linda."

"Right, sorry." He turned his head. "It's Linda! That girl who paints stuff!"

Ha.

Linda. The girl who paints stuff.

Why don't they just rank him #1 already?

"Tell her to screw off!"

Ow. Expected, but it kind of hurt.

Matt sent me an apologetic smile.

"But she wants us to try some cookies!"

Mello paused. Ha! I got him there. Mello and his sweet tooth.

"Are they chocolate?"

Hahahaha. Of _course._

Matt glanced down at the bowl, blinking, then swiveled around to answer. "Yeah, some."

"Okay, bring her in."

Yeah, because I was a robot with no feelings. Or hearing.

Honestly. Boys.

"Thanks," I said, although I really shouldn't have been thanking him. I should've been kicking him in the places where the sun doesn't shine.

Once I got in, I almost slipped. Not because I was a clumsy oaf (I may not be a graceful ballerina but when I walk, my head and my feet co-ordinate, unlike _some _people) but because Mello and Matt have a room fit for rats.

Or more specifically: rats that are big, hairy and give people contagious diseases. Like the plague.

So after stepping over the shirt I almost slipped on (hopefully it was clean) I approached Mello, happy, commercial smile plastered over my big, fake face. "Hi. Linda, in case you didn't...uh...yeah. I made some Christmas cookies because I found my mum's old recipe in one of my childhood scrapbooks and I was thinking of making lots for everyone here, since, you know, it's really good, and -"

"You ramble too much," Mello growled. "Just give me the damn cookie."

Wow.

Eager much.

Like a drug addict. Although, in this case, he would be a chocolate addict. Or a sweet addict. One that mostly eats chocolate. Unless the chocolate he eats is dark, in which case it'd be -

Er. Nevermind.

"Uh – yeah – sure." I offered the bowl to him and he greedily snatched one of the chocolate covered cookies.

He started munching on it, and once his eyes met my hopeful, puppy-dog eyes he said, with his mouth still full, "What are you looking at? Get the hell out."

I swallowed down all the swears and _you snobbish bastard you'_sdown my throat and said, as calmly as I could, "I just want to see if you enjoyed it. Did you?"

Mello glared.

I switched the tape recorder on in my pocket.

"Oh. They're bad?" I frowned, but inside I _knew _that they weren't. Even Roger seemed like he wanted to take another one. I recognised that lustful little glint in their eyes, desiring, yearning and...okay, maybe I went too far. "Then I'll won't make another batch. I knew I couldn't bake..." I bowed my head and began to walk away, until Mello gripped my arm so hard his fingers probably bruised my arm.

"Don't – just – I mean – like I care if you make another freaking batch!"

His clear overreaction meant that he wanted me to make another batch.

"Okay then. I'm just saying, if you wanted to know, I'm not."

I heard Matt snicker. He knew what I was doing. Matt always was observant, but I guess he had to be, being friends with Mello of all people.

"Fine. If _you _want to waste your mum's recipe, be my guest!"

"Okay!" I said cheerily. "Thanks for the advice, Mello."

He stared at me, eyes boggling. That wasn't the reaction he wanted to gauge.

"Just – fine, make another batch, see if I care! And if – if you're going to, you better give the whole lot! So I can waste it!" He nodded fiercely, satisfied with himself.

I could've asked why, but I wasn't going to torture Mello. He kept on glaring at me indignantly, mouth chewing. How someone does that and still manages to be menacing, I don't know, but Mello did.

Did I mention that he was practically screaming throughout the whole conversation?

"Oh. Well, okay then. I'll make another. Just in case."

I walked out proudly, waving to Matt as I left.

That is, until the door shut, and I realised that I never gave Matt one. Which, according to logic, would have been easier and convenient.

Damn it!

* * *

Day 2

**Target 2: **Matt.

**Explanation: **Because I forgot to give him a cookie when I left his and Mello's dormitory.

**Plan: **Get him alone, _then _offer. I am not stepping into that mess of a room again! Okay, I guess I can't really talk, seeing as my room is pretty messy, too...but I'm an artist! _I have an excuse!_

**Materials**: Bowl of cookies, tape recorder, Gameboy Advanced.

**Safety Precautions: **Stay _away _from the goggles.

It's really hard getting Matt on his own. Really, really hard. He – in case you didn't figure it out already – sticks with Mello, and _only _Mello.

However! I found that, after a few hours of observing, he sticks with something else. That also happens to be a stick.

A cigarette stick.

Okay, that was lame. Basically, I found out that Matt smokes. I'm not sure if Mello knows (though I doubt he'd care unless it killed Matt) but not many people know. I've asked around (not blatantly, though – I'm not stupid) and no one seems to have any idea.

Anyway, instead of stalking Matt, I decided to go look for where I would go if I wanted to secretly smoke (there's a smoke alarm in Wammy's – so that's impossible). I thought maybe the big tree in the corner of the yard would be a great place; it was shady, no one really went there, and it was in a _corner_. So if you were behind it, you'd be hidden.

So. My initial plan was to go there at lunch, but when Matt didn't turn up for class, I pretended to be sick and snuck out.

I know. All this for homework?

_You _try living at Wammy's. Then you'll understand.

Just as according to plan, Matt was leaning against the tree trunk, his legs lazily strewn about on the grass.

I felt a little angry. I mean, smoking at his age is _illegal_. Where did he even get the smokes from? Not to mention how it had become such a habi -

Okay, Linda, calm down.

Your primary objective: make him enjoy a cookie. Not nag his ear off.

I approached him tentatively, wondering if he'd be surprised. Or angry. I suddenly grew a little fearful.

"M-Matt?"

He didn't respond right away. Matt decided it'd be _most convenient _if he did it after one, long drag (I thought maybe he didn't hear me, so I almost called him again).

"Yeah, what?"

He sounded a little annoyed. I guess smoking time was stress relieving time. I winced a little. Hanging around Mello _must _be stressful, after all. Something stirred in my stomach. I was...kind of guilty.

"...do you want a cookie?"

Matt stared at me as if I'd grown another head. "You stalked me just so I could eat your goddamn cookie?"

Was Mello rubbing off on him, or something?

Plus, I was a little embarrassed that he noticed. Me watching him, that is.

"I didn't _stalk_ you," I muttered defensively. "I was just...observing from a distance in order to complete a goal. OFAD for CAG."

"Ofad," he repeated flatly. "For cag?"

"It's -" I sighed. "Just eat one. Please. And like it."

His easy-going demeanour seemed to return, because he shrugged and went, "Yeah, okay."

I clicked record on the tape recorder, and as soon as I did, he froze.

"What?" I asked in agitation.

Matt chewed one more time before glancing at me. He swallowed. "What happens if I don't like it?"

Ah, shit.

Damn Matt for being so attentive – no wait, that wasn't the right word. _Cunning_. And _evil_.

"I..." I sighed. There wasn't any point trying to lie to Matt, now, was there? With that disturbing knowing look in his eye... "I lose the chance of having Danielle do all my homework for the rest of the year. I also gain the chance of her teasing me for the rest of the year."

Matt grinned a little. "So you're not just doing it for the sake of Christmas cheer? I thought you were nicer."

"Sorry to disappoint you," I said spitefully. "Anyway, did you like it?"

He paused, and took another drag. I wrinkled my nose. Yuck. Potential lung cancer.

For a while, we just stared at each other. Me, pouting like some little puppy with pleading eyes, and his face, totally blank.

"Yeah, it was good," he finally said, and I sighed in relief. _Thank God. _Matt laughed at little as he looked up in me, eyes gleaming boyishly. "You're lucky you're pretty."

At that, I stiffened and gawked at him. Yes, I'm sure that was _very _pretty, me gaping like a goldfish.

"I – uh -" I touched my face self-consciously, a little embarrassed, until I realised -

"You're making fun of me," I mumbled, prickles of self-confidence going back down the drain.

Suddenly, the bell rang. Matt stood up, going to meet Mello, no doubt. He crushed the cigarette under his boot heel.

"Ehh." He stuck his tongue out a little in thought. "Half-half."

My eyes widened in alarm and I opened my mouth to ask what the _hell _he meant -

only for him to run off, saying, "See ya, Lin_da_!"

and I was left gaping at him, tape still recording.

* * *

Day 3

**Target 3: **Near

**Explanation:** There doesn't really need to be an explanation for this one, is there? I mean, I _know _what my objective is.  
**Plan: **Get him alone by pretending to paint all day, _then _offer. When you're talking to the best genius of Wammy's House, people tend to stare. Especially blond German ones with bad tempers.

**Materials**: cookies, tape recorder, canvas and easel.

**Safety Precautions: **Do _not _knock down his dice-towers or mess up his puzzles. Just...don't.

Considering Near stays in the specific area every day, it wasn't exactly difficult to find him. Getting him on his own – that was what was difficult. But I had a plan. That included waiting.

A long time.

It got really annoying when it _seemed _empty, only for some prick (or prickette) to pop out of nowhere to grab their notebook or homework.

Sometimes it was just Danielle or Matt, just to be fun.

Yeah. Haha. Fun. Funny.

Not.

Eventually I decided I would have to settle with a _few _people in the room. I know it would be typically ideal to have a bunch of people in the playroom so that it'd be so loud no one would hear, but if there was lots of people, chances are one of them would be Mello.

And he _would _hear.

He _would_.

So, I was forced to approach him in the presence of unwanted company.

But hey, at least it wasn't Mello.

"Near?"

"Linda."

See, he remembered my name.

"I...you eat, right?"

As soon as the question popped out of the mouth, I felt like being swallowed whole by the floor.

_You eat, right?_

Nice start.

He merely clicked a rubix cube into place and added it to his ever-growing pile. I decided to take this as a yes.

"Okay, that was a...stupid question, to say the least," I said nervously. "Do you want to eat one of my Christmas cookies?"

Near paused, and looked up at me with those round, dead eyes of his. Even though Mello's were similar to his, Near's eyes were more...eerie? Emotionless and...kind of dead, I guess. "Okay," he said quietly, looking down at his toys again.

I almost squealed. He sounded so...so..._cute_. I suppose the softness is what softened me up, if that makes any sense at all – plus, he said yes. Well, he said 'okay'. Which meant yes.

I handed him one delightedly and he observed it, as if it were some foreign object, before taking it into his pale hands. It was...endearing, to say the least, to see this little boy, snow white from head to toe hold a cookie.

Now I get why fangirls of Near exist. Whether I am now one of them or not is irrelevant.

He paused, then stared up at me, expressionless as always.

"I just need to know if you like them or not," I explained, in case he was wondering. "Because I plan on making more later. So," I grinned at him. "I can make loads for you, too! If you like it, that is. If you don't like it, that's okay. So take a bite."

I almost forgot to get the tape recorder going, but luckily, I did.

"You're really quiet, you know?" I laughed.

Near nibbled the side of the biscuit, dead eyes staring weirdly at it. Something flashed across his face, but it disappeared too quickly to tell what it was.

He handed it back to me.

...that can't be hygienic.

I took it anyway, frowning. "Isn't it good?"

"I don't like sweet things," he said quietly, twirling a lock of his hair.

"_What_?"

He didn't react to my outburst. But the five year old who was solving maths equations in the corner certainly did.

"You don't like my cookie?"

I was about to cry.

Near stiffened, but replied, "I don't like sweet things. I believe that 'cookes' fall into that criteria." Considering his cautious tone, it was quite evident that crying girls were not his area.

But I can't believe it.

How can he _not _like my cookie?! It's so good that I should have _converted _him over to the sweet side. In fact, what kind of a kid is he, not to like sweet things?! Mello liked sweet things!

The ranting in my head stopped.

Wait. Was _that _why he didn't like sweet things...?

Surely not. The whole Mello-Near thing was onesided, wasn't it?

_Wasn't _it?

Ugh. Nevermind. Near still doesn't like my cookie.

I've _failed_.

I sighed.

Damn.

What do I do now?

I started making sobbing noises into my palm.

_Ha_.

Take _that_.

I heard a little shifting from Near, since I couldn't see through my hands. If I could see Near through the slits of my fingers, he would see me.

That is, if he were looking at me.

But let's assume he is.

"How come you don't like sweets?" I asked, muffled through my hands.

God, I must look pathetic.

"It is simply not a taste that I enjoy. I prefer sourness."

"But _everyone _likes sweets."

"However, I do not. Really, Linda, I thought you were above this."

I raised my face out of my hands and blushed. Of course. How could I fool Near? "It's just that...can you just _say _you liked it?"

"Why would I do that?"

Yes, Linda.

Why _would _he do that?

Sigh.

I guess I have to come out with the truth.

Damn it.

"Okay. I made this bet with Danielle – she's probably sixteenth or fifteenth in line – because she thinks that I'm incapable of making any of the first three – you, Mello, and Matt – enjoy a cookie. Considering Mello's pride issues, Matt's laziness, and your...yeah."

Near didn't say anything for a while, twirling a snowy lock around his finger.

One day, that snowy lock will knot around his finger and they'll have to cut his hair off.

Ha. In Mello's fantasies.

And mine, if this doesn't go well.

"Ah. That is why you were observing them so closely."

Yeah, okay, I wasn't _that _obvious, was I?

It's just because Near is a super genius.

Right?

"Well, yeah. Look, all you have to say is, 'Linda, I like your Christmas cookies.' But in your Near-ish way. Otherwise it won't sound like you."

...Okay, what _the hell_? In your 'Near-ish way'.

How lame.

"I don't understand."

"Just tell me you enjoy them in a way that you would if you did enjoy them."

Twirl, twirl, twirl.

"I enjoyed them."

I paused.

And thought.

And thought.

And thought.

_Yes!_

No more homework for the _whole _of next year!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

While I danced around, Near stood up and shuffled over to a shelf, taking out a puzzle box. He resumed his former position and started on it.

I squealed, grinning madly as I jumped up and down. I glanced at Near, who was quietly ignoring me.

But that didn't ruin my mood.

I headed over to him, crushing him with my hug. He froze at my touch, squirmed a little, then just sort stiffened again.

He's so socially handicapped. I squealed again, and let go of him.

With his lips slightly parted and eyes widened, Near looked positively horrified.

Pushing the limit further, I kissed him on the cheek. He jerked, as if burnt. "Yes! I'm seriously in love with you, Near. Seriously. You are the _best_."

Was that a pink tinge on his cheeks?

Oh well. I'm too happy to care.

I swivelled around. Hurray, hurray –

Oh shit.

Mello. And Matt, behind him, gawking at us with his goggles pulled to his head.

Did he see that?

I hope not.

The worst thing to do in front of Mello is to say to Near that _he's _the best. Regardless of whether Mello has acknowledged you before or not.

Mello, whose nostrils were flaring and eyes were glaring (I rhyme! Yay – okay, not the time), had a face that told me that in the next few hours I'll be six feet under.

Crap. Crap. Crap.

Plus, how much did they hear?

"H-hi, Mello. And Matt."

Matt raised a hand at me hesitantly, eyeing Mello worriedly, who was currently mumbling things under his breath.

And instead of killing me (or Near) as I expected, he just pushed past me.

"What was that about?" I mumbled.

Matt shrugged. "Well, you know." He tilted his head towards Near.

"I kind of thought he'd burn the orphanage down."

"You'd think. But he hears it so much these days, he settles for turning the dorm into a dump."

"Oh."

I feel so guilty. How horrible for Mello. He can't _help _being a teeny bit less smarter than Near.

"So, you got your recordings?"

I nodded enthusiastically, little relieved at the atmosphere lighting up. "Yep! All I need to do is edit it so that Danielle doesn't have to hear our stupid conversations, and then all my homework is done for the next year." I beamed.

"You got what you wanted."

"Yep! I got what I wanted! And Christmas is coming up in a few days, so I have to get cracking on the baking, too."

Matt slid his goggles down on his eyes again, taking his PSP out of his pocket. "That sounds nice. Anyway, I have to go back before Mello does something more than just destroy his bed."

I waved at him, then thought of something as I glanced down at Near's barely eaten cookie.

My mum had a recipe on sour lemon cookies somewhere.

Grinning, I got to work.

* * *

Day 10

**Target 4: **Everyone! But mostly Matt, Mello and Near.  
**Explanation:** Everyone can enjoy a cookie, right?

**Plan**: GET THEM TO ENJOY IT.

**Materials:** -

Oh sod it all, I'm not even scheming. I genuinely want everyone to like them.

* * *

Okay, it's taken me a while. To bake for the whole orphanage. And Roger.

But the deadline was the Christmas party, so I'm a-ok.

I had them all in these special containers, which kept them nice and fresh (can cookies be fresh?). One of them had a white, black and red tag on it, which just meant that it was the extra special tin (hehe).

Tonight was the Christmas party (like I said before), and I've got the special tins in my room (I have a single dormitory). I'm leaving the extra special one until...well, you'll see.

As the staff set up decorations for the party, I headed over with about three tins in arms.

"Excuse me, Ms White," I grunted. Damn it, why am I so small? "I baked these..."

"Ahh." Ms White smiled. "That's why you were using the oven so much. I see. Do you want me to put a little name tag so that people know you baked it?"

"Yes, please." I smiled my biggest smile.

She chuckled. "Okay. Just leave them here, and we'll set them up."

I nodded, walking back over to my dormitory to get out more of the tins. Ha. This'll be my best plan yet!

It was bustling with people. Some girl and boy found themselves under the mistletoe, and they ended up going back to the guy's room to do some romping on the couch (or at least, that's what I was told). Mello was awfully quiet in the corner, with Matt beside him.

Mello wasn't eating anything, just sort of glaring at Near who was still doing his puzzle in another corner.

The blond finally got up and stormed off to jug some food.

This was my chance.

I ran over to Matt, hoping that Mello wouldn't see me. "Hey, when they open the presents, sit near me, okay?"

Matt raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

I grinned. "You'll see."

Every Christmas, all the kids form a circle and open their Christmas presents that way.

I had my extra special tin in hand, waiting for the moment.

"Okay, everyone! Form a circle! We're opening the presents!"

Giggles and whispers erupted but they did what they were told. I made sure to sit next to Near. Matt and Mello were only a couple metres away from me.

"Alright, first is for A -"

"Excuse me?" I quipped. Everyone stared at me. Except for Near, of course. "Look, you guys, you finished all my cookies on the tables, so I'm really happy about that. Um...I have one sort of, extra back-up tin."

A few people whooped. Everyone laughed.

"Anyway. So I was _thinking_...that the first people who get one would be the three best in Wammy's House!"

"Whoot!"

"Go Linda!"

I giggled at the encouragements. "So, first, _Mello_, because he's so awesome at eating sweets. Am I right? Am I right?"

Everyone whooped again, and I relished at the slight smugness that crossed Mello's features. An ego-boost. I handed a cookie over to Mello, who, unless my eyes deceived me, _smiled_.

And he didn't look half-bad.

"Okay, second is Matt. There doesn't need to be a reason for that, right?"

"Right!"

"Hey, I want a cookie!"

I passed one over to Matt, who winked at me. I blushed, but kept my composure.

"And, of course, Near."

He didn't look up. "I don't like sweet things," he repeated.

"Yep. That's why I made you a sour cookie! Sour lemon cookies, in fact."

Near inclined his head. "I see."

Everyone was silent, but that was probably because Near talking was a miracle.

I dug in for the yellow cookie, handing it over to him with a smile.

He nibbled on it.

We all waited for his reaction, my own heart beating rapidly.

_Please let him like it please let him like it -_

"It's...good. Thank you."

And he continued to eat it.

_He continued to eat it!_

YES! TRUE SUCCESS!

Everyone started talking again, and I saw Danielle, who was looking frustrated with herself.

I beamed, knowing full well that I wasn't going to do homework for a long time.

And even though I couldn't exactly make Matt, Mello and Near best buds for all time...

At least they had something in common, right? Besides the L factor.

I glanced at Near, Mello, then Matt, grinning to myself.

After all, who didn't like cookies?

* * *

A/N: OH MY GOD. THIS IS DONE. _YES_. FINALLY.

Everything died towards the end, BUT WHATEVER. I DON'T GIVE ANYMORE. IT'S DONE.

So...hehe..

R&R?


End file.
